Self-love-I need your opinion!

Lately I have been really struggling with self love. How do I love myself if I am not 100% sure everyone else is happy? But, how can I make everyone else happy when I don’t completely love myself? When I’m not happy with myself?

It has come to my attention that self-love and self-acceptance is absolutely not an option. Not an option. These must become priorities for me or else I will drown. I have read from Brene Brown’s work in The Gifts of Imperfection that there might be some conflict around the idea of CAN WE POSSIBLY LOVE OTHERS MORE THAN WE LOVE OURSELVES? Or should we love others more than we love ourselves?

Is this idea detrimental to our health?

Or should this idea be sent out the window because we SHOULD love ourselves more than we love others?

Or should we set aside ourselves in order to serve those around us, the way God loves us, the way others expect love, and the way society has set us up to love?

Just as Brene did, I put this idea to you…

What is your definition of self-love and self-acceptance?

Should we love ourselves more than we love others?

Or should we put our self-love first and foremost in our lives? How would that look?

Sincerely,

Jessica

#MamaMode

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “Self-love-I need your opinion!

  1. I believe that we should love ourselves and others equally. The challenge for me is to separate my relationship with myself from my relationships with others. Undoubtedly, our social webs and energetic ties to other people are a huge part of the identity which we form for ourselves. It is important though, to prevent ourselves from adopting the woes of others before addressing our own. It is much easier to see the darkness or troubles to be corrected in the loves of others than it is our own. This provides a distraction from our own p9 self-work. One last thought: I also believe that it is possible to love others wholly while practicing self love simultaneously. The idea that before we can love another, we must love ourselves is flawed. All of us have areas in which we need to improve and trauma to work through, but to do all of this before extending love to others would be to starve our need for support & community.

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    1. I agree that there is an aspect of loving others can be done simultaneously with loving ourselves. Mental health and self love are looked down upon in our society in a way because we are expected to give and give until we are empty.I believe there is a way to love others which in riches ourselves at the same time. Life doesn’t always give us opportunity for dramatic events of self-love and me time and it also doesn’t provide very much opportunity to dramatically change others lives. But if we work to do these things in small ways every day throughout our day I believe we can reach others lives and our own more than we comprehend.

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  2. I believe that it is possible and necessary to love ourselves and others equally. Although drawing the boundary between the darkness and troubles of others and ourselves is important, to protect our energy and commitment to our own self-work. In a way, I see that loving others in a healthy way can provide fuel and inspiration for us to love ourselves. Unfortunately, too often we find ourselves giving more than we receive.. in this situation it is absolutely okay (and not at all selfish) to call for our needs to be addressed. One last thought: the idea that before we can love others, we must love ourselves, is flawed. In order to have the ability to love ourselves, we must address the darkness and trauma that we carry. Traveling into the darkness of ourselves is hard work and much easier to do with a person or community there to hold your hand. It’s an endless cycle, rather than an exchange, if we can love others in a healthy way, and they can return that love to inspire and nurture us, only then can we have the ability and desire to keep giving!
    PS: I’d love to chat about this and ANY other birth-y stuff with you sometime.

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    1. Thank you so much for your response! Loving ourselves is a journey. Some of us are blessed with more empathy than others but keeping all of it in a healthy realm is the trick. I have learned that being able to go to bed every night no matter what got done that day and say to myself that I am enough and that I am worthy of love and that I did my best has been the biggest asset to my days. As I lay there and think about how I love myself and that I am enough I pray that everyone else is doing the same thing and can find the strength to do the same thing.Live in the moment where there is a mom moment a way for moment I has been moment or a hard moment, I live in the moment because the present is a gift.

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